Archives for category: being single

I don’t need a man I’m completely happy alone

Sees love on my timeline and sends attack drone.

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alarmI am divorced.

I have no close immediate family.

I live 2,500 miles from my home town.

So who do I call in case of emergency?

When I left California almost 11 years ago I just wanted to get out and make it on my own. I had a loose dream of moving to Chicago with some engineering friends. One case of windburn after a visit in November quickly quashed those plans.  Then I met the man who would become my husband and I moved to the area where I currently reside.  My ICE contacts have always been my mother (who lives in California) and my ex-hubs who now lives 5 minutes up the road.  Now that we are divorced and I am single with no prospects, who do I call in case of emergency?

Saturday night I had such an emergency. After going out with a friend for a bite I returned to my car with Lil Prince in tow only to discover my car battery was dead.  I called my road side assistance service who reported that it would be 45-60 minutes before they would arrive.  It was below 30 degrees outside meaning it was the same temperature in our car which had been parked for over 90 minutes, but it was late and everything was closed.  I did what I have always done:  I called my ex-hubs.  I told him what happened, he was only an exit up the freeway from where we were and reported he would be there in a few minutes. 30 minutes later my son and I were still sitting in a cold car.

I tried my best to fight back tears of the situation. I was really cold, my body ached from the chill, the tow truck was taking forever and my ex-hubs was no where to be found.  I was angry, hurt, and frustrated.  I don’t expect my ex-hubs to go out of his way for me to do anything, but me and his son freezing our asses off should have been a motivator to show up and do what is decent.  I have friends that I could have called but none that I felt comfortable inconveniencing.  I have some family here but none that live on the side of town where I live and their arrival would have came only after the arrival of the tow truck.  Eventually my ex-hubs showed up, 10 minutes before roadside assistance.  It took everything in my being not to dropkick him in the neck.

I know that my ex-hubs sucks. There are reasons why we are divorced.  I like to think that he still practices human decency, but he loves to remind me that I set the bar much too high for him.  And sure if I would have told my friends what happened they would have replied, “Why didn’t you call me?” How do I explain to them that I don’t believe that they would really come?  At least not ungrudgingly.  What does that say about what I think of them? Sounds terrible.

I am not used to depending on other people or asking for help. I grew up in a tight knit family. I was taught to do things for myself and that which I could not do anyone in my family would have assisted without a second thought.  I am a giver. I will always help out wherever I can.  Case in point, earlier that night I helped a friend with a work related issue in which I called on my close friends and family to assist.  But when you live “alone” in a city who do you turn to?

I moved to this city because it was where my ex-hubs is from.  I stayed after our separation for some sort of support and familiarity for our children.  But in light of current situations what is the point? If I can be alone here, I can be alone anywhere.  I am ready to move.  Move to a new city.  Move on in life and find a new ICE.